If you've ever been to Aberdeen you may well have experienced the terror of Aberdeen drivers! I’d like to point out here that I’m an Aberdeenshire driver, a totally different species. It’s so common for folk to forget to signal or to attempt to bulldoze pedestrians (I understand this urge) but today I encountered a rather uniquely rubbish driver.
Upon receiving the call asking my to pick Charli up, I headed straight for town and had a really relaxed drive until I hit the outskirts. That was until a man who was driving insanely slowly, in a 70 mile per hour zone, fancied himself as Lewis Hamilton coincidently this was after looking into my car and realising that a female had just over taken him. This insult to his masculinity had to be corrected! So he began to drive like a complete numpty, pissing off many other drivers, as he attempted to catch me up in the increasingly busy town traffic. If you’re this particular Idiot you may be interested in this short letter I wrote as apology.
I am sincerely sorry that my having breasts and being unwilling to drive at 45 miles per hour behind you while you continued your phone call was so insulting to you. I am similarly sorry that my heinous actions compelled you to drive like a complete maniac in order to point out the error of my ways. If I ever have the misfortune of annoying you in this manner again I will endeavour to also drive like a paralytic goat, so as to avoid any insult.
All The Best
P.s I love the way your car is covered in dents. It really adds a new dimension to the aesthetic.
After picking up Charlotte we were discussing these interesting antics before having to do a very quick pit stop so she didn't throw up on herself (poor thing) upon leaving the car she some how managed to projectile vomit all over the side on a passing vehicle! It was equally gross and hilarious. Thankfully the driver didn't stop! That might have been an interesting one to explain.
So be warmed if I ever have to deal with your crazy road rage I have a pukey sister and I’m not afraid to use her!