Has anyone else noticed that every year the Christmas music and decorations start that little bit earlier? Does this result in you also wanting to feed jolly little elves to crocodiles by the time hit mid November? No?  Just me then.

As you may have gathered I’m not the worlds most tolerant person. However I do actually love Christmas, I love decorating the tree, making the food, buying (or this year, making) the presents for my loved one and I always really enjoy the big family meal with it's annual hiccups and disagreements (the best year was when my aunt was knocked over by a wild champagne cork) I even like the crazy light displays people put together for the season.

But why do we need to be constantly reminded that Christmas is coming in 72 days, 54 days 31days? It happens on the same day every year! But thanks for making people panic buy gifts that no one will actually want to receive …

 The TV adds don't even wait until Halloween is done before bombarding kids with brainwashing adds aiming to make them extort piles of cash from their parents for gifts that will be forgotten or trashed before we hit the halfway mark of the year.

This year having experienced a skintness beyond hope I’ve decided to use this opportunity to hand tailor gifts to my friends and family with a variety of lovely prints and mad jeweler and it's been great fun making them and having discovered many other people are doing the same it's restored my faith in the season a little.

 Ok so not everyone has the time or motivation to make their own gifts but can we please stop panicking and just enjoy the festive spirit (minus the horrendous cheesy music please) and as is demanded by the season I shall be making more of an effort to be jolly or at least a little less grippy.


 

Firstly i'd just like to say YAY!

 why you ask?

because 'George' the elephant has gone to Edinburgh! he's currently hung up in the RSA (Royal Scottish Academy). And i'm going down to see him tomorrow! i've never been to a Private showing at the RSA befre but i'm really looking forward to it :) as well as meeting up with a wonderful friend who's currently living down there. i'm really over the moon in general.

My work is also currently in a group Mokuhanga show in the Newton Dee Cafe which is near the Cults part of Aberdeen

life is good :)

Today I had to pick up my little sister from college because she was in the grips of a migraine and on our way home on one of the many pit stops (migraines suck!) we discovered a brilliant use for her projectile vomiting! 

If you've ever been to Aberdeen you may well have experienced the terror of Aberdeen drivers! I’d like to point out here that I’m an Aberdeenshire driver, a totally different species. It’s so common for folk to forget to signal or to attempt to bulldoze pedestrians (I understand this urge) but today I encountered a rather uniquely rubbish driver.

Upon receiving the call asking my to pick Charli up, I headed straight for town and had a really relaxed drive until I hit the outskirts.  That was until a man who was driving insanely slowly, in a 70 mile per hour zone, fancied himself as Lewis Hamilton coincidently this was after looking into my car and realising that a female had just over taken him. This insult to his masculinity had to be corrected! So he began to drive like a complete numpty, pissing off many other drivers, as he attempted to catch me up in the increasingly busy town traffic. If you’re this particular Idiot you may be interested in this short letter I wrote as apology.

 Dear Sir,

I am sincerely sorry that my having breasts and being unwilling to drive at 45 miles per hour behind you while you continued your phone call was so insulting to you. I am similarly sorry that my heinous actions compelled you to drive like a complete maniac in order to point out the error of my ways. If I ever have the misfortune of annoying you in this manner again I will endeavour to also drive like a paralytic goat, so as to avoid any insult.

All The Best

Clare

P.s I love the way your car is covered in dents. It really adds a new dimension to the aesthetic.

After picking up Charlotte we were discussing these interesting antics before having to do a very quick pit stop so she didn't throw up on herself (poor thing) upon leaving the car she some how managed to projectile vomit all over the side on a passing vehicle! It was equally gross and hilarious. Thankfully the driver didn't stop! That might have been an interesting one to explain.

So be warmed if I ever have to deal with your crazy road rage I have a pukey sister and I’m not afraid to use her!

ok so this post is a little late but i feel it's important that some body says this. We need more socially acceptable events that involve fire! i'm not an arsonist (yet) but i have to say that fire makes things better! much like random explosions making a film better. it's just cool.

Today’s blog was meant to be about scary Aberdonian drivers.
That was until I arrived home this morning to discover that Rebus (the little stripy thing sitting in the basket) decided to tip over a bookcase, and trash several canvases in the process. I'm still not sure how she managed it.

This little monster is well known for being far too curious for her own good. In the last year she has; fallen in the bath, tipped a pot of emulsion all over herself before leaving indignant paw prints and splashes all over the house (including a curly Rebus shape on my sisters bed), stolen my toast and climbed the curtains before slipping and tearing her way back down to name but a few. 

When she isn't trying to destroy the house she spends her time culling anything that moves in the garden and surrounding area. If our garden is ever subject to an archaeological dig in a few hundred years their going to believe we were into ritual sacrifice!

It’s funny how something so weirdly destructive could be so well loved and yet her madness has a certain entertainment value, at least when you’re not the one who has to tidy it up!

Hey Guys,

Just to let you know, you can now find my blog on bloglovin.com

Today I find myself in an extremely unusual situation… I’m in such a good mood that I can't think of anything to rant about, so alternatively I’ve decided to give you all some tips that I feel are very useful :)

Firstly, if you happen to be an artist or a student doing a spot of location drawing (which I hope your not because lets face it the weather is pretty kek!) always ensure you have an empty coffee cup (proverbially Starbucks) in front of you for these very important reasons:

1. This means you will have just enjoyed a warm beverage (proverbially Starbucks) and if you’re outside drawing you'll need many of these!

2. You now have a hand pot in which you can put water, pencil shavings, brushes or what ever. And

3. If like me, you can't do anything slightly creative without making a giant mess, you might just be mistaken for a homeless person and make some money (I am speaking from personal experience here) which lets face it we're not normally in a situation to be fussy.

Secondly, if you enjoy the odd spot of puddle hopping like myself, BEWARE of the deceptively large puddle! These are not your normal every day sort of puddle, oh no, these little buggers go out of their way to look innocent and shallow but if you make the mistake to jump into them they won't hesitate to fill your wellingtons in a matter of seconds leaving you with no alternative but to squish-squash your way home hoping you won't get frostbite and loose a toe. 

Lastly be more careful before allowing the bizarre species commonly known as children anywhere near electronic gadgets.

With the ownership of computers/computerized gadgets being so common it’s getting to the point of ridiculousness and not only because most teenagers now have a better phone than myself! It has become so commonplace for kids to have access to scarily expensive gadgets like iPads and even Mac Books and I can't help but wonder if this is a great idea? 

By giving them so much access to these devices It is so easy for them to break or mess up your pretty gadgets! 

Their little they haven't become as cynical and jaded as some of us and will easily trust viruses to do what they say on the tin as well as typically being a curious and clumsy race well known for cracking screens and on the odd occasion dunking your phone in milk to see it makes it tastier (it doesn't).